*Spoof* Bachelor tryout video

A happy camper once again

Oh my! I've missed you blog world! I'm so glad winter is over. I really do hate it with all of my existence. I should probably move to a warmer year round climate so that I don't hate things as much. But who likes to move? Ya'll, I mean really. Could the blooming trees get any prettier? I just get so excited when spring comes. Sometimes I just want to dance in my leg warmers and video tape myself. Do ya'll ever feel like that?

Two of my best friends from college, Cali and Audra. We had to make sweet nothings of course!

Last week I went to Nashville, TN to see my best friends from college. I haven't seen them in a year so it was a wonderful reunion. We missed our other bestie Erin. Hopefully we will all be together again soon. Maybe for Cali's baby shower?? If you're reading this Erin, please say yes!

While in Nashville, I went to McKay bookstore. It's book store heaven for those of you who love to read. The picture to the left is how I feel when I'm walking in. I've been preparing my list since last May. I only spent $91 (it was better than last time)! Ya'll I just cannot tell you the happiness I feel when I enter that place. I smell books--the pages, the binding, the weird people. "Oh what joy! Oh what bliss! I feel so crazy I want to hiss!" (Another word that rhymes with hiss is piss but I didn't really want to do that. I mean, who wants to buy books with urine all over them?).
Another thing that was exciting was looking up pedafilitics (that's the fancy shmancy name for pedafiles) in my friends' neighborhoods. I have this app on my iphone called Watch Out. Type in the zip code and it gives you the name, pic and address. Cali had one that lived right around the corner from her. I won't say his name because if he googles himself then my blog will come up and then he will stalk me with his nasty medical mask on. Yes, he wears a medical mask at all times. Cali and Devin see him frequently in his yard, and he's wearing a mask. He's also wearng a mask in his mugshot. Creeper. Click here if you want to see http://www.militaryphotos.net/forums/showthread.php?149303-15-Most-Unfortunate-Haircuts-for-a-Mugshot/page2 He was charged with solicitation of a minor. He probably drives a snow cone truck. There was also one that lived three houses down from Lauren Thompson. He was charged with aggravated rape. Even more gross. If I can be of any assistance to anyone in finding out about pedafilistics, let me know. My service is free.

Go enjoy the beautiful day! Thank you God for being the smartest being out there to create such prettiness.

Just call me Scrooge

This is awful. I HATE snow, cold, ice, beautiful blinding winter wonderlandnesses. My roomies and I went ahead and had our roommate birthday dinner last night. We were going to have it next weekend, but since we were all confined to the house, we decided to celebrate early. I made Delicious Cheddar Puffs (thank you Pioneer Woman). Haleigh made potatoes and chocolate cake, and Caroline made chicken in the crock pot and a Donnie Ferneau inspired salad. We ate high on the hog for sure.

Some of our guy friends came over last night and brought some games along. We played Apples to Apples first. LOVE THIS ONE! Then we played Scene it. I will say I'm not as good at this one because I don't watch as many movies as others. Fun time anyway.

Right now, I'm sitting on the couch with an illness called cabin fever. I'm watching my roommate do a Denise Austin video. I'm so ready to get out of the house!!!!!!!

Need a laugh?

Ya'll, sometimes I wonder about myself. Am I real? Am I competent? Should I be in charge of young children? Let's just say grad school has begun; I am taking three classes and teaching full time. My incident today will show that my mind is wearing very, very thin. I'll set up the convo: I get a call this morning while on duty so I check the voicemail. It's Linda from church. She said that Mr. Holmes had died just now, and she wanted to let me know that since I am in charge of the food team for January. I told myself I would handle that after school.

After school, I get out my church directory and look up the number to the deceased man's family. The following is the conversation I had today at 2:54 pm:

(Ring ring)

Mrs. Conway: Hello?

Me: Hi Mrs. Conway. This is Ashley Jamison from church.

Mrs. C: Well hello! How are you? (quite chipper seeing that her husband had just died)

Me: Well I should be asking you that. I heard about your husband this morning. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Mrs. C: SILENCE [She must be so sad. I mean her husband just died]

Me: I wanted to call and offer my condolences and to see if there's anything we can do to help out.

Mrs. C: SILENCE [Wow...she's so grief stricken she can't even speak.]

Me: Have you made funeral arrangements? Do you know when the funeral is?

Mrs. C: Well, I hope it's not for a few more years.

Me: Oh....ok. [I was thinking, "ooh gross. She wants to keep him for a long time. Think necrophilia at its best. Think A Rose for Emily by William Faulkner. Should I report this to the police? No, she's just in mourning. Normal response...not quite but oh well.]

Mrs. C: You must know something I don't know because he's up walking around.

Me: Mrs. Conway, your husband didn't die did he?

Mrs. C: No, he's standing right here.

Me: Well, can you tell me who did?

Mrs. C: I have no idea I haven't heard.

Me: I wonder if it was Mr. Holmes. Well I'm glad your husband is alive!

Mrs. C: Me too! [At least she kind of laughed about it]. You even called us last week to check on him when he got out of the hospital.

Me: That's right. I did. Well, I'm glad everything is alright. See you tonight at church!


Yes, that really happened. Why I am the cause of such misfortunes I will never know.

Toot toot! Next stop: Infatuation Station

Ya'll, i watched the bachelor tonight. he's such a little cheesy goober, but i love to watch him. so fun. ok so please agree with me that tonight was probably the funniest episode ever. I watched it with my friend Valorie and we giggled (the kind where you hold your bladder because it might explode from so much laughter) about everything. A few observations: there are a lot of divorcees, big boobies, girls that look like men (would I say androgenous or just manly?), and then there are some pretty ones. Oh my the girls that got kicked off tonight were hilarious werent they? Ashley, the teacher wearing the blue dress, looked like she had a neck problem when she was saying by to him. bless her. and then the girl who looks hideous when she cries. so funny. sorry if she's related to anyone, but you might want to show her how to cry more prettily before going on national television. I called my daddy after the show and told him he should be thankful i'm not exploiting my body. I mean just think of all the fan mail ;).

Let me tell you about my day....only about 15 seconds of it. There's an exchange student from Mexico this semester. He speaks English poorly; he is in my Spanish I class. Many hispanics are under the false assumption that the grammar they learned is correct when in fact it is not. Well, my student decides to challenge me today in front of the class. He said that when conjugating this certain verb, it can be done both ways. I said, "No it can't." He said it could then I said it can't then he said that's the way it's done in Mexico. SO I SAID, "Never challenge me in front of my class again and NO it cannot be done that way. In my class, I teach correct grammar and obviously that is not the way you learned it. You will learn correct Spanish grammar here. End of discussion." He said yes ma'am and I went on with my class. While they were doing their course work, I gave him an instructional sheet and where he could find it in the book where I was correct. Though Spanish isn't my native tongue, I know what I'm teaching. Maybe he'll remember that next time.

Pawpaw made it out of surgery fine. He's in pain, but that's expected. Hopefully he will have better care this time or nurse Callie will get 'em! Also add to your prayers my friend Lauren Brennan. She was diagnosed with transverse myelitits which is inflammation of the spinal cord due to an infection settling there. She experienced paralysis from the waist down, and she is trying to recover from that. Prayer she has a full recovery and can be as active as she once was. She's such a beautiful woman inside and out! She wrote this on her facebook page the night she was admitted: "God is good, all the time." What a strong, Christian woman! Please pray for her, her husband and her family.

I might be getting new bedroom furniture. That's right.

Lauren and me at her wedding in 2006.

OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great news friends! Ace does NOT have cancer! What a relief let me tell you. And to put icing on their cake, Ace and Morgan were finding out the sex of the baby today. I don't know it yet but as soon as they give me the ok I'll post. Yay! I'm sure it's a boy; that's all our family ever has. We need some estrogen! School started back today. I was actually kind of excited to see them :).

Ok so I MUST tell you about the hip hop class I've been going to. It's totally kick-butt. Tonight was my 2nd time to go, and the sad part is, I won't get to go anymore since I'll have class every Tuesday night :(. One more Tuesday and then I'll have to wait til summer. But oh my! Luwana knows what she's doing that's for sure. Last week she had this move where you have to pop your butt. I was doing the very best I could. Those who know me know that I'm not blessed in that area, so I was trying hard to pop it. As I'm trying to be ghetto, I hear Luwana yell, "White girl! White girl! You gotta pop it like it's hot. Put it out there!" And I yelled, "I AM! This is it!" After tonight's class she said that I have much improved the booty pop. It is such a good workout; i was drenched with sweat. She doesn't even give you time to catch your breath. For those who want a good and fun workout, go to the hip hop class at War Memorial gym Tuesdays 6-7pm.

Here are some holiday pics!

Tekia and me before she made my hair look like Cindy Lou Who

Daddy and me
The momster and me

Brittany and Waylan

Caleb's girlfriend Brook, me, Tela and Seth's wife Julianne at Jamison Christmas.

Lacey, Caroline, Sarah and me at Ciao Baci ringing in the new year.

Busy bee

This is one of my favorite pics of my dad showing off his miniture peppers.

Kojie reunion
Erin and Emerson

Halloween!

The hunter and the deer

Buzz, buzz, buzz....ok so i'm going to update you. I know, I live such a fantastic life and you all are

just DYING to know what has happened since October. Don't worry :) I'm about to fill you in. Grad school and work. YES! You guessed it! Good for you! You shall win a dum-dum! Let me tell you something while we are on the subject. I park outside on the street, and some birds decided to have a colon cleanse on my car. Therefore, I went to a carwash. I had a coupon to get a free $10 car wash at Team Clean, so I did. As I drive up to the entrance, the attendant comes out and gives me not one but TWO dum-dums. Of course I was very gracious, but deep inside I was like, "ooh dums-dums disgust me. I will just throw them away." Those of you who know me well know that I can't just toss food without first giving it a nibble. I ate the dum-dums, and guess what? They were good! I really felt good about rekindling my love for suckers.

Halloween was fun besides the extreme flooding. My roommate and I dressed up together. I was the hunter, and she was the deer. So cute! Then I went Harding homecoming where we had our 70th Kojie reunion. It was so so wonderful to see everyone!

Let's see, grad school went well. Before my presentation for Satan's class, I asked my teacher for a Xanax. It's true, I did. He obviously does not get jokes and said, "Ashley, I am not licensed to prescribe medicine in this state" and then gives me a how are you in this class because you are stupid look. aaaahhh no sense of humor! What a hardship that must be for him!

CAC going well. I was asked to play in the student/faculty basketball game. he he. My height must fool people. I told them it was a BAD idea. I guess they thought I was being modest. It was the most regretted 2 minutes of the game. I didn't know I could get so distracted. People would yell at me or for me...I would wave. I didn't want to neglect my fans who paid $2 to watch me. Sometimes when I was running down the court, I felt compelled to leap. What other times will I have a basketball court to leap on? And then for the final fiasco...I was open. I saw the other player look straight at me. I said, "NNNNOOOOOO!!!" And he did it. He threw it at me. I ducked ( I don't like things coming towards my face...bad memories from when a basketball hit me in the face when I was in the 4th grade and wore glasses. Let's just say the glasses were terribly bent) and the ball goes over me. Then some evil person knocks it back to me, and I throw it...to the opposing team. It was like a hot potato! OOH! They took me out right away.

Let's see...over Christmas break I read three books. I have not pleasure read since June. Oh how I have missed it! I read Life of Pi, The Lovely Bones, and The Pilot's Wife. All of those were awesome! I wish I could've read more! Maybe my grad school work load will be less this semester.

Boring but busy! I will update on the holidays soon!