Thursday, September 22, 2011

Seven years ago today

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

"This is my first journal entry in my first diary ever! Yay! Audra and I ate at Mi Pueblito before Hart church. We asked the nice Backyard Burger man, Phil, to church. He didn't come but gave us his number so we cold call him next week. But we won't. We heard he exposed himself to some girls (supposedly) so I'll just not ask him.

After church, Audra and I went for a walk. Right in front of Harding Academy, we saw a naked man. Penis and all. He was standing by a tree. He was just standing there silent, not even moving. We couldn't see his face because he was standing where his face was in the shadows. After we realized what was happening, ya know, that a naked man and his parts were standing there, we ran to the nearest apartments and yelled for help. I've never out run Audra in all my life, but I sure did tonight. We turned around and saw the naked man streaking across the street, get in an unlicensed silver car and peeled out. We reported it to Harding security, Dean Huckeba and the Searcy Police (they laughed in our faces). Now isn't that the weirdest story ever?!"

Anyone remember that story?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Things on my mind at the EXACT moment in time

1.       I’ve eaten so badly this week. And I wonder why I can’t fit into my pants. I have no idea how chocolate sauce just magically appears in the bowl in my hand. No idea. The banana under the chocolate sauce counteracts the butter, sugar, and (get ready for it) skim milk heavy whipping cream. Whoa Sally. Whoa donut ring on my belly. How in the world did you get there?

2.       How I wish it would be light outside at 5:45 in the morning so I could go running. I did it for two weeks, but I have now stopped for two reasons. The first is my paranoia that someone will attack me because it’s dark and no one will know because I’m all by my lonesome. I wonder where that fear came from… The second is I am clumsy and sometimes trip. A girl in my book club fell running and fractured her elbow. I can just imagine myself walking back home, crying, with a bone hanging out of my arm.
3.       The dream I had last night that my gap in my front teeth had returned. What a nightmare.

4.       If I practiced Jainism, it would be kind of acceptable to walk around completely naked. Hhhhmmmm……………
5.   It's strange that I suddenly appeared on a new television series last night. I suddenly got popular today and received texts from everyone about how the girl on the new show "New Girl" is just like you. In fact, she is you.  No lie. So I watched it. And...I laughed.'s true. It felt like an out-of-body experience, except that I was in my body watching another body. Ya know?
Those are my thoughts. Sometimes folks, there are times when I think more than one thing. That's called mulitasking.