Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Humilified

Ok so those of you who know me know that I tend to make up words without really knowing it. My friend Caroline now uses my word "humilified" so I felt I might tell you about the etymology of that word.

Once upon a time (November 2009) there were two girls (Lauren and me) trying on beautiful designer clothes (at the Limited). Lauren called to me, "Ashley, please show me the gorgeous red dress that you are trying." So Ashley, dying to show off her figure to Lauren and anyone else that wanted to look, sauntered out of the dressing room showing off the very tight red cocktail dress. As Ashley is walking down to Lauren's dressing room, a store employee has an approving smile on her face as she looks at me. "I look fab and sassy!" Ashley thought. The smile on the store employee's face quickly turned into disgust as she looked down towards my feet. "It must be my chipped toenail polish," Ashley thought.

As soon as Ashley got back to the dressing room, she takes off the very tight dress, contemplating purchasing the dress. She then pulls up her panties (sorry if this is graphic for some of you), and her...HER PANTIES!!! It suddenly dawns on her. The dress was so tight that to prevent a panty line, she just...you know. She suddenly yells to Lauren, "I'm so humilified. Oh my goodness! Girl, so humilified!" She quickly dresses, runs down to Lauren's stall and tells her what she's done. She realizes why the store employee gave her such a look of disgust. She knew that she HAD to buy the dress now. She bought the dress and very quickly left the store.

Will Ashley ever be unhumilified???

Yes, that's the story. Poor Ashley. Little did she know that she was showing her skivvies to the whole store. The moral of this story is...make sure your skivvies are cute if you are going to show them to the whole store.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Tuesday's Trivia

I've decided that since I love trivia so much, I will post a new one every Tuesday. If you have any thing interesting, please share. Ask my mother if my love for trivia is for real, and she will say "fo sho." I'm just so intrigued. So here's your first one. Shall we have a ribbon cutting? hehehehahaha. ok for real.

Did you know...

If Monaco's ruling house of Grimaldi should ever be without an heir (male or female), the country will cease to be a sovereign state? No more Grace Kelly family members. Poof! Caroline, Albert, and Stephanie--ya'll better keep spitting out those kids!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Trivia Oh How I Love Thee

SO, I was talking witht the AT&T Uverse guy today (his name was Joseph), and I noticed that he had an accent. I couldn't pick up on where he was from which is abnormal because I love accents. He was asking me if it was hot in Arkansas and I told him it was your own personal sauna. Then he said he'd never experienced weather like that so then I went in for the kill. I asked him where he was from. So here's your trivia...AT&T really is worldwide because Joseph lives in the (drum roll please)...the PHILIPPINES! I know, crazy. That reminds me of my penpal, Liezel Gara. She was from the Philippines. She never sent me a cassette tape of her voice, so therefore I couldn't detect Joseph's outfit.
My time in Dallas and Tulsa was fantastic! I loved spending time with my friends. As soon as I got in Tulsa Thursday I had a little fender bender. Oh well, right? It's just money. I have a money tree as well as my brothel in the backyard. It's all good.

Yesterday I began a 12 day rapid weight loss diet. Don't worry, I'm not anorexic; I just want lean muscle. This diet requires me to eat seafood because it is so high in protein. I bought tilapia which I did ok with. I also had to buy shrimp. I had a shrimp salad today or maybe I should call it an Ashley gag salad. I could hardly get through it. THEN I had to eat cottage cheese. Luckily I got to put strawberries and blueberries in it. It still didn't help that much. I ended up throwing the rest of the cottage nasty cheese away. I feel I am gaining weight. Why is this???? We'll see how long I last. I was thinking, "I can do anything for 12 days." I really want carmel right now.











Thursday, July 8, 2010

Summer lovin!.

I wish summer was year round. I absolutely love the weather, the smell of sunscreen, the lake, never having to wash your hair because the pool does it for you, and the sun not setting until 8:30. LOVE it! I'm headed to Dallas after lunch to hang out with Meredith before little Chandler arrives. I can't wait to meet my new niece!
Meredith and me at Harding graduation 2010.
As much as I love summer, it's been a bittersweet. One of my very best friends and her husband are moving to Houston on Friday. I can't tell you how many going away dinners we've had with Val just to spend time with her. I'm so happy for them and the adventure they are about to embark upon, but I will miss her dearly. Pray for Valorie and Scott and their transition. Love you both! Sarah, Valorie and me at one of the many going away dinners.
I FINALLY (dum da da dum) got a job! It makes me want to jump up and down and sing songs from Oliver Twist. For those of you who know me well, you know I love the music from Oliver Twist. I'll be a Spanish I teacher at a nearby school district. I'll be a floater which means I won't have my own classroom. There are pros and cons to that. Of course, I'd much rather have my own room. The Pro is I won't have to decorate a room. Am I nervous? YES. They use a program I've never taught with before and it terrifies me. I still haven't gone through training for that yet. All in all I'm very excited, thankful, and relieved to have a job for this coming year. And at a public school to boot! Goodbye CAC...hello savings account!

Fun times with friends at a Boom Kinetic concert.
Over and out with a little shout!