Heartbreak Hotel

Sometimes I forget just how perfect a childhood I had. Today was a day when I was flooded with those grateful memories of my wonderful, Christian parents. I'd noticed one of my most vocal students had missed the past four class periods which is unlike her. She loves Spanish; she loves me or so she tells me daily. I don't even have to say it first. She is always coming in with the daily gossip and a huge smile. Not today.

She shows up for class today only to be checked out 15 minutes into class. I said, "Ok chica. What's going on?" She said she didn't want to talk about it. I said, "Well you're going to because I need to know why you've not been in my class.". We go out in the hallway. She proceeds to tell me that her mother is being charged with 3rd degree battery and assault...for beating her. DHS has removed her from her home, and she is now living with a foster family. She missed school because of the severe bruises on her body, mainly on her back making it very uncomfortable for her to sit.

I was stunned. I didn't say anything for what seemed like an eternity. I then asked, "Do you want to be with your mother?" She quickly responded with a no. I hug her, but I can't let go. I'm crying at this point which I know teachers aren't supposed to do, but I didn't care. What was ironic about the situation was SHE was consoling ME. I want to just hold her and love her and let her know that she is so incredible and so strong to be able to tell someone.

I continue crying as she reassures me that she is ok. She will be fine. I tell her I love her like I tell all of my students. And I truly do. They are MY kids. And it just makes me so sad that one of my kids is hurting. Y'all. I don't know. I worry so much about my kiddos. Pray that she can continue to be strong and that she can stay in school. Fostering at this age can be disastrous. Pray for her foster family, and pray for her mother. Pray for me because right I'm having images of her mother getting hit by a bus. Don't worry. She doesn't die, but it's still not a good thought to have.


-Ashe

She be so ratchet

Ratchet=nasty. My students think that I am not cultured enough in "today's" language, so they have decided to teach me a new word every day. And who said you stop learning? NEVER. Have you ever had one of those nights when you just think the most random things and none of those things connect? It's like, "Hey thoughts! Let's play connect the invisible dots." So I was thiinking just now about dots and that made me think about being chased by a crocodile. Very scary thought. So I googled "What to do when being chased by a crocodile" and it gave me the following information:

• Since the crocodile is surprising fast on land, run in a zigzag motion for the crocodile has little or no ability to make sudden changes of direction.

I got so tickled. First, I of all people would find myself in that predicament. Second, can you picture running in a zigzag motion? Me the girl who falls so often? Third, who thinks while being chased, "Oh wait. A crocodile has little or no ability to change direction so I'm going to run in a zigzag motion." No thank you. I shall just run.

Luckily I have yet to be chased by a crocodile. Life is so good and very busy. My students are awesome! They are so sweet even though I want to sucker punch them sometimes. They did throw me my first surprise birthday party EVER. I was so shocked and grateful. They do have such kind hearts.

Speaking of kind hearts, wasn't it totally awesome that LL Cool J prayed on the Grammy's last night? What a statement that made! That did give me glimmer of hope for our world. I kind of want to send him some fanmail. I would always send JTT fanmail. I never got a response--that punk. Go sing to yourself you lion lover!

I'm so tired yet I hear the ocean. I would love to be on a ship right now with Sawyer or Jack from LOST. Oh be still my beating heart! You are beating so quickly that Dr. Jack might have to do surgery, you bad heart you. I really want to go to the beach. This summer I shall go to a beach. Where? I have no earthly, but I can tell you this. I will NOT get a heat rash because I will not. That's all I know to tell you. If you've ever had a heat rash, you think you're skin is dying.

Goodnight fair friends. Dream sweet dreams. I'm going to dream about oceans and writing in Spanish with one hand and English with the other...simultaneously. Mark Twain said to "explore, dream and discover". Marky Mark...you be so smart. You so not ratchet.

My "How To" for the day

I'll be 28 in a few weeks. I'm not one of those people that will cry and get really upset when people don't tell me happy birthday. I mean, yes. It's nice and makes me feel happy when my birthday is acknowledged. I admit it. But I'm not going to go stab your picture if you forget. I just love any reason to eat, have a party and just hang out. So this leads me to the "How To" of today. Today's "How To" is...how to throw yourself a surprise party!! Whoopee!

So I've thrown this idea around in my mind...ya know. Would people think it was weird if I, me, Ashley, sent out invitations to my own surprise birthday party. I mean, really, how awkward would that be for them. I'm awkward anyway, and I can handle myself. But others sometimes don't know how to react. "Hey, I just got an invitation to Ashley's birthday party. She invited us to her own birthday party. And it's a surprise. I'm so confused." As will most people be. We are celebrating the moment when I was pushed out of my mother. How much more awkward can you get?

The reasons why I will throw myself a surprise party:

1. It's a totally fantastic idea that no one in the history of birthdays has ever pulled off. I mean, I've never met every person that was ever born. Could you imagine? I would be asking SO many questions like...what was it like wearing a corset AND pantiloons? Did your toga ever accidently fall off? Did you ever help build a cathedral or almost die of the black plague? See? So many questions so it's probably best that I've never met everyone, though maybe there was someone who had my same idea.
2. People would marvel at my wonderful acting skills when I fake my surprise face or marvel at my ability to outwit myself.
3. I get to choose what's on the menu.
4. I get to invite whoever I want.
5. I can make it a theme party because dressing up is one of my most favorite things to do.

So, how do I go about doing this? This is where I get the opportunity to outwit myself. I have no idea how to surprise myself. Any thoughts?

Moving on to my 2012 trip to who knows where. I think my friend Anna is going to come with me for a full week. She's up for whatever. We are for sure going to Paris, and I would like to go to Portugal again. I really miss the pastries, and I want steak, and the hostel was so much fun, and I want a painting from these Russian peeps, and I want to go to Sintra the fairytale land. So yes, I am repeating a country but who cares. Paris will be fun with a girlfriend instead of solo. There are just some places where it would be kind of lonely going by yourself. Like Barcelona was last year. So I do hope Anna can come with me!! And let's hope I save enough money.

To end this post, I shall share my favorite thing: TRIVIA. I love facts that make me think or laugh. Did you know...that a cat will clean itself with paws and tongue after a dangerous experience or when it has fought with another cat? This is believed to be an attempt by the animal to soothe its nerves by doing something natural and instinctive. I feel that humans do that as well except we use a loofa and body wash. Agree?

Go cleanse yourself, listen to Irish music, and get ready for my surprise birthday party!!!

Sad day in Spanish 3rd Even

One of my favorite students left me. Yep up and left me to move to where? LOUISIANA. I'm trying not to be a hater but an appreciater, but it's not working at the moment. Carlos was the type of student who was always suspended, but somehow we connected. He had a B in my class which was probably the only B he's ever had. He truly was my favorite and the other students knew it. But it was different with him. I caught him cheating twice. He flat out was staring at another student's test. I'm like, "Dude! Hello...I see you. Fail with dignity." Then Carlos said, "Well I would if I knew what it was!"

That's when we bonded. He was spunky and could put up with my sarcastic comments because he knew I loved him. I love all of my students, but I have a yearning for Carlos to succeed more so than some of my others. I have faith that many of my kids will get into colleges and have successful jobs, but some of them like Carlos need the assurance from parents and teachers. I'm not sure he was getting that at home or at school.

I'm typing this, boo hooing (and listening to Irish music), and I think it's because I'm scared for him. I want him to be in my environment because I know that I would smother him with encouragement. I hope to goodness he gets it because he wants to do well. Why do the good ones always get plucked from me?? Tell me why baby why baby why baby why? I mean ya'll. Who's going to tell me that I sing "brutaful"? Bless that child. Pray for him that he will grow wherever in Louisiana they move. I've never been more attached to a class in such emotional ways. They are so special to me. Maybe this Irish music is making me extra weepy. You know...I love Irish music. I L.O.V.E. "Danny Boy". Classic Irish song for me...an Irish American :)

Irish music and nuns are my interest right now

So I've always thought I was born into the wrong family. Don't get me wrong. I love my family...but I just wished they played the tin whistle and picked wildflowers in the meadow. Ya know? So I've always had an Irish fetish--music, movies, bands. Even my penpal, Donna Jean Dempsey, was from Dublin. We wrote for 8 years until college became too important for overseas friends. So as I sit here listening to Irish music and dreaming of green rolling hills and sheep and the island of Roan Inish, I have decided Ireland will be my next overseas venture. I shall see the family that really isn't mine, and I will talk to them using the few Irish Gaelic words I know.

I'm supposed to making a test out right now, but that's not going so well. I have big dreams of reading books over Christmas. I can't wait! My library is saying, "Read me you fool! You've been away tooooo long." Fear not, fair lass...I'm coming. So I was thinking the other day, "Wouldn't I be 10 times cooler if I could speak French?" My mind said, "Yes, your cool factor would boost and more people would stare at you strangely whilst you make fake telephone calls in French." So I decided, then and there, to learn French...wait for it...through song. YES! That's right. I got XM radio free over Thanksgiving weekend and the song, "Dominique" came on by the singing nun. It was a smashing hit in 1963. I downloaded it on ITunes and my French lessons started promptly. I love nuns. She's awesome. I felt like we would've been friends. Ya know on the swim team playing Marco Polo. She'd let me find her and win. That kind of nice, help you self-esteem friend.

I love me some Irish music. I've been planning out my wedding music for my wedding that will never happen. It's going to quite fabulous. I wish you were going to get to hear it.

A little family update: Tela is still pregnant! She'll be 33 weeks on Wednesday. She is still at Baptist in Little Rock. She's as cute as can be. No bigger than an ant hill, but we'll take what we can get. Those boys are feisty. I can't wait to meet them! As always, thank you so much for your continued prayers for Tela, Russell, and the twins as well as for the Jamison family. Thanksgiving wasn't the same without Poppa. I'm so thankful for my huge family to lean on. People say they don't think they could live that close to family. Well let me tell you something--you haven't been around mine. I couldn't live without them. It's times like these when those extra shoulders are needed. 

Love love love ya'll! Peace and blessings!

Flashback to freshman year

Freshman year of college that is. With the whole booger picking/eating incident in my class yesterday, my memories began to flow--the memories about my freshman year suitemate. I have two words for you: pot luck. That should tell you everything you need to know about her. We didn't choose her AT ALL. Now let me set the record straight and say that Lindsey and I loved April, our other suitemate. She happened to go pot luck too. And well, let's just say it wasn't good for any of the parties involved.

This poor girl. Now don't start thinking that we bullied her. We didn't. We might have laughed at her on occasion, but please don't hold that against us. She was a special girl; she was addicted to the television. I mean that literally. She would go into a trance and wouldn't even blink her eyes. Lindsey and I would find her in our room when we'd walk in from class, crouched down watching the tv. We called our parents and complained, but no. They didn't believe us. She loved cafeteria take out. She loved it so much she would leave her take-out boxes in the room for several days causing a mighty stench and flies to circle around. I remember April bought fans and clipped dryer sheets to them to help combat the smell.

We dealt with all of this for months until finally we put a stop to it. Our parents still didn't believe we were living with a smelly tv addict. So we took matters into our own hands...or maybe I should say into our own camcorder. With this tv addiction came the trances. She would't know if there was a tornado outside because she's be so enthralled in the tv. So we decided to record her for our parents. We sat the camcorder directly on top of the tv and positioned it to where she always stood. She came in after a three hour conversation with her grandmother (in which she spoke in the third person about herself), and the trance began. She stayed for about 10 or so minutes then left. Mind you, this was around 2 in the morning. Lindsey and I watch the video and low and behold we see our suitemate pick her nose and eat her boogers not once but TWICE! She then proceeded to clean out her fingernails...with her teeth.

Grotesque. I know. I lived with that. But don't worry fair friends. When our parents saw the video, they realized we were living in a poor hygienic state. We found a new roommate for this poor girl, and we then became a suite of three. Then we all lived happily ever after.

And did I mention that on the second day of school when I was still terribly homesick she used my brand new washcloth that I'd received for graduation to wipe her fecal matter?

I'm back if only for a brief spell

Poppa, Granny, and me 2009

Stress is so underrated. My blood pressure is surprisingly low (102/60) for the month that I and my family have experienced. I know all families experience death and babies wanting to come out too soon, but it feels like we are going through this all by ourselves. October 13th we lost Poppa. I won't write a lot about that because it won't do him justice. I think he took one of my arteries with him because my heart is constantly hurting. It's times like these that make me want to move back to Jamison Road. I just want to be close to family...all of my family. And then my cousin Tela wanted to spice things up even more. Her twin boys are wanting to come out to play, but they are only 28 weeks. I'm going to be selfish and say that I am secretly glad she's here. I've missed her terribly, and we've gotten to spend lots of quality time together. For that I'm thankful. Now if we can just continue to keep those little toots in there!

Sometimes I wish I was on the TV show "Glee" so I could express myself in song without looking like a looney. I mean, I do express myself in song but with a price. My go-to girl has been Belgium singer/songwriter Agnes Obel. She's PHENOMENAL. I want her voice and her Princess Leia hairdo.

Agnes Obel and Harry Potter's owl, Hedwig (with a dye job).

I've read a couple of books. One was about a dog. I wanted to vomit because dogs are not on the top of my "I really love" list, but I pulled through. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein is about life through a dog's life. It was pretty good--a very easy read.

Then there was Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt. Ooh child, I LOVED this one! It's non-fiction but reads like a fiction. Berendt really draws you into each character and develops each perfectly. Now I need to watch the movie. I've become so enthralled in Jim Williams and the murder that I've done my own personal research project. I know...I'm quite the intellectual. It also makes me want to go to a cemetery. I used to do that in college. One of my favorites was off Moore Street in Searcy. It was so old and had so much history. I loved reading the epitaphs. It's just weird to think that I'm reading about an actual person that may have done exactly what I was doing at that moment--discovering a person.



School is fantastic. My kids are gifts to me. I cannot thank the Lord enough for giving them to me. No more nausea all day every day.